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| Pic is not mine |
As I laid in my warm bed last night listening to the powerful thunder set off all the car alarms on my street and watched the lightening burst through the night sky unable to drift off to sleep all I could do was pray. Not for me. No, I was fine...I had a house and a bed, and heat. I was crying out to God for all those who live in this city without those things. There was a flood of emotions flowing through me as I prayed; sadness, frustration, helplessness, thankfulness, disgust and of course each emotion brought with it questions of why and what and how. Why are there so many people living with so much while so many have so little? Why do people leave their countries thinking life will somehow be better here? Why are we (am I) so selfish with what I have? Why are their so many empty buildings and churches in Rome and yet people live on a piece of cardboard? What can I do? How did we as a culture (world culture) let things get this way? How do we mend all the brokenness? How do we help? How do I sleep knowing so many are spending the night soaking wet, cold and alone? Why, God? And what would you have me do?
A friend of mine was listening to this song the other day. He really liked it, but since he does not speak English he asked me to translate it for him. As I did all I wanted to do was cry.
Friends, as I wrote this I was reminded that earlier this week I asked God to break my heart, to give me compassion once again. I had felt myself becoming hardened to the plights of the people in my city, numb to the world around me. As I write I realize that God is indeed faithful to answer our (my) prayers, and because of that I sit here, heart breaking for those around me. (be careful what you ask for, from a God who promises to answer)
2 comments:
I think having your heart broken is the first step. On Saturday night I watched the news about Japan and thought, "oh my, how terrible" and then I went to bed. But on Sunday morning I began to comprehend the enormity of the plight of those in Japan. I started weeping and found myself weeping the whole morning. However, I think it was God's Spirit weeping within me because, to be honest, I have never been had any feelings toward Japan, I guess you could say "indifferent". But Jesus is not indifferent. He cares and I believe He grieves. He weeps with those who weep.
There are no easy answers, but at least we're now a little more open to being part of the answer.
Yes, it is only the first step. You might want to watch out, that is what happened to me when the Earthquake hit Haiti. I first saw it and thought, "bummer"and then went on with life. But God quickly gave me an unmatchable heart for the people of Haiti until I could not, not go and help. And now I care so much for a people and a place that I had hardly thought of if ever thought of prior to the Earthquake.
And yes, I think that we have the Holy Spirit at work in us praying the prayers and weeping the tears we just don't have words or emotions for. I shared this same thought with my friend RheAnn who is in Japan, not knowing what to say.
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