Not Good and yet...

Friends my heart is overwhelmed.  This has perhaps been my toughest month in Rome and yet I am starting to see God open doors into the relationships and places He wants me.  It is my belief that Satan is not happy about this, and hence He is taking every opportunity to hinder the progress I am making here in Italy.  I have had a run in with a train badly injuring my leg, I spent a week sick, I have had to stop attending language school, and some of my friends here have returned to the states and too top it all off I am seriously underfunded!

You have no idea how much I hate, HATE continually having to ask people for more support, I feel like a broken record.  Yet, as a friend and supporter reminded me yesterday raising financial support is an ongoing part of the life of a missionary.  She suggested that I lay it all out for you clear as day so that you are well informed and able to assess the need for yourself.
ReachGlobal requires that Single missionaries serving in Rome raise $6285 a month.  When I left for Rome last July I departed in good faith based on the promises of faithful giving. (some of it monthly, some quarterly and some yearly.)  Since being here there have only been 2 months where the total $6285 pledged actually was given, usually I am seeing about ½ come in.  I was hoping that those who give once a year at the beginning or end of the year would help to make up this loss, but that did not happen.

This means that at this point, almost 8 months in my Ministry Account is severely underfunded.  This ministry account funds not just my salary (which has been cut by $1000 a month) but also our ministry here in Rome, heath care, retirement, travel, payroll services in Minnesota as well as other office costs at out headquarters, housing, conferences and training, and language school.  Because of the huge shortfall in my account I have had to take a $1000 pay cut and stop attending language school and they have frozen my ministry spending until my account reaches the minimum balance required of $4,500.

My heart is overwhelmed because I feel like I am just really starting build good relationships with Italians, my language is improving, and I am finding niches for ministry.  I have tried to make the best out of the situation, taking on two babysitting jobs with Italian families where I am there to teach their children English.  This is helping me supplement my income a bit and it gets me into the homes of my neighbors.  Because I am missing language school I am working hard to meet up with complete strangers to exchange language, which again lets me meet more Italians, but is not nearly as effective as school.  Today I went to the home of a family that goes to my church, and spent four hours or so talking with them in Italian over lunch and coffee, this is a great new connection and the mom really wants be to consider them my second family here in Rome.  I have encountered a woman from Moldova and her two children for a week now each time I go downstairs to the Coffee Bar to do my Bible study.  I am praying that God will help me to help her and her family.  Last week one of the girls from our home group led the Bible study for the first time and did a fantastic job, she is hoping to move into our neighborhood which would be a great new addition.  We have had a number of people visit from ReachGlobal some joining our team and others to attend a conference on ministring to the refugee population in Europe, Sarah has been asked to start teaching English at our local library and she has asked me to help her, and I am back to teaching English on Tuesday nights where some good relationships are forming.  I was also able to write out my testimony in Italian and am working on putting it to memory.  And next weekend I will head to a conference for Italian youth interested in missions.

So, as you can see many GOOD things are happening, and it breaks my heart to think that I might have to come home in the next month or two if my support does not increase by $3000 a month.  It would be such a shame to have to leave right when all of these connections are happening.

I have been reading through the Bible with my home group four passages each day and as I read through Exodus this past week a few thoughts struck me and I feel they apply to God’s provision…
1.       When God called the Israelites to leave Egypt he first had them go to their neighbors and ask them to give them their gold and jewelry.  And God prompted the Egyptians (who did not believe in God) to give over these things.
2.       The Israelites were likely in shock and totally excited by this as they had been serving as slaves for quite some time, they likely doubted that their asking would produce such a bounty.
3.       Later when it came time to construct the Tabernacle God had Moses request the people to bring forth all the gold and wealth they were willing to give in order to accomplish His desire.
4.       I am guessing based on knowing humans and having read the story of the Israelites short term memory problems with how God continued to provide all that they needed that giving up this wealth that God had provided was very difficult.
I am asking you point blank to think hard about how God has met your needs and how He continues to meet your needs.  Then I am asking you what God had Moses ask the people of Israel, to give willingly whatever you can out of what God has blessed you with.  If you are already doing so, thank you.  If you are one of the many who promised to give but have not been giving I ask you to start today.  And if you are not giving and can give willingly to the work that God is doing here in Rome then I ask you to give today too.

I am asking all of you to pray for me.  Pray that I would not become discouraged, that I would continue to serve faithfully with joy.  Pray that my language learning will not diminish, and that my new jobs will help tie me over as well as help me build relationships with these families.  Pray that God will supply all my needs as I know He is able to do.

If you are a member of a church or a group who might be able to join my support team please pass along my need to them as well, for we are all one body!

Waste Not

I am learning that God has let nothing in my life experiences go to waste.  Turns out that even my Online Dating experience prepared me for life as a missionary.  This week I signed up online at a sight for people searching for Language Exchange Partners.  Much like one signs up for online dating minus the pictures and with much less upfront information.  And now just a few short days later my inbox is filled with Italians who want to meet for coffee and to exchange an hour of English for an hour of Italian.  Today I am meeting with my first 2, then Sunday 1, Monday 2...I am taking a break on Tuesday and Wednesday to attend the Refugee Highway Conference and then 2 more on Thursday.  Just goes to show you that you never know what God will use. 

Footing

Just when I thought I was getting my footing here in Rome...I am just starting my 8th month of living in Italy.  And things were settling into a routine, wake up go to school for 4-5 hours, homework, time to meet with people, go to bed.  But this month God had different plans.

This month because I am not fully supported I had to stop attending my language school.  At first this seemed like getting the rug pulled out from under me.  I had just passed a very hard level of Italian and had studied very hard for my test after having missed quite a few days last month being sick.  My pride wanted me to say, no I have to keep attending this school, but wisdom and money said no.

But as I thought about it I realized that this may in fact be an answer to prayers.  I had been frustrated that I was not meeting more Italians and that I was not able to spend a lot of time with God or in my neighborhood.  Because I cannot afford language school for the time being I am finding free and creative ways to improve my Italian.  One of these ways is to find language exchange partners.  And as it turns out there are a lot of Italians looking for just that.  So in this way because of my need, God is going to be filling my schedule with Italians whom I can and will be expected to talk to.  Hmmmm...feels like a good thing.  And as I have been browsing the language exchange websites searching for partners, it seems like there are quite a few who are studying or have an interest in Film and Television, hummmm what was my major again?  Oh yes, that's right Film and Television.  Seems like once again God never lets anything go to waist.

Now that I do not have to be up before the sun to get to school I can also start my days with God.  And I figured that I would bring a little bit of CA into my neighborhood by having my time with God at the Coffee Bar downstairs.  This is not really done here, people do not just sit around at coffee shops like they do in CA reading their favorite book or Bible for that matter.  But, I figure since this Coffee bar is in my neighborhood and I desire to be a light in my neighborhood one good way to make people begin to take notice of me is to let myself be different.  Which in this case is a comfort to me, as I have missed my morning quite times at Coffee Cat with a cappuccino and my God.

Already I can tell that Satan is not so excited about my new found avenues for ministry.  Two nights ago, I was heading to go teach English at a local church and when I went to board the train like I do almost everyday my footing was not good, and I slipped landing with my left leg and half of my body between the train and the platform.  Thankfully the kind people inside the train pulled me up quickly before the train doors shut on me and before the train departed.  However in falling I injured my leg pretty badly as it hit the train.  I decided there was nothing to do but continue on to class as I had invited some new friends to try out the beginning level, and did not want them to show up and not find me there.  I transferred to the metro, and then after hobbled tears falling to the rest of the way to the church.  Some of the other teachers helped clean me up a bit and got me some ice for my swollen leg.

Yesterday when I got up I knew I still needed to meet with God and encounter my neighbors so despite the pain I went to the Coffee bar and settled myself at one of the outdoor tables.

just as I was finishing my reading and beginning my praying an older woman with bear legs (sunny but COLD) the size of my wrists if that came and sat down, I looked up and knew instantly that this woman was homeless.  Now we have homeless for sure in Rome, but not in this neighborhood.  She looked cold, and she was using a cup of hot water to mix with a can of soup.  I recalled that I had 2 extra pair of tights that were too small in my apt. and some gloves, so I asked her in Italian if she was cold.  She promptly put her thumb on her nose and all 5 fingers wiggling about stuck out her tongue and made an ugly face.  I was a bit taken aback, but seeing as I am from SC was not totally thrown off.  I packed up my stuff went home, put together a gift bag for her; sweater, tights, tea, crackers, gloves, and a book about God in Italian.  I made my way back down there, and handed the lady the bag.  She looked surprised, and then angrily spat out words that I could not make out, and then demanded for a coffee.  I told her I did not have coffee, as I had left everything else back in my apt, including my wallet.  She went back to her soup, and I went back home.

I had been reading Exodus, about Moses being sent to the Israelites to get them to leave.  And had noticed how at first when leaving meant harder work for a time, they were willing to stay as they were rather than get rescued.  Funny how God works.  Then at home I listened to Dad’s sermon about the Famine in the Land and again was struck by the idea that the people here are unable to see their own true needs, and are willing to stick with quick fixes.

All this to say, please pray with me as I try to get my footing in this new approach to language learning, and ministry.  Pray that God would continue to reveal His path to me, and not let me stumble.  You can also pray that my conversations with these new language partners and times in my neighborhood that  God would be glorified that people (myself included) would be aware of the need for a savior, for rescuing and would find that in Jesus.

La Posta

Today arrived a package that was sent from California on Dec 4th.  Today is January 28th.  This package has been here in Italy since before Christmas according to the tracking but for whatever reason, assuming there is one it only just arrived today.  The box was stuffed full of wonderful Christmas presents from my good friend Renee.  She had so badly wanted it to get here for Christmas, but alas this is Italy and it just wasn't to be.

I remember reading somewhere, that the mail system in Italy is so bad that when they get too much of it they just burn piles of it.  I doubt that it is true, but nonetheless should I someday come across a pile of burning mail I will not be shocked.

Italy is a beautiful country with wonderful food and great history and fantastic art.  It is not however a very how shall I put it, efficient county.  From what I have seen this is generally accepted and thus continues.  My package for example:

Sent Dec 4th
Made it though customs Dec 13th
And ever since then they promise they have tired to deliver it almost every day according to the online tracking on the US side.
However there was no one knocking on my door or leaving me package slips until last week.
When the guy finally did make it to my door the first time it was while I was home sick with the flu, otherwise I would have been at school. He came and wanted 60 Euros for the package.  When I told him I did not have 60 Euros on me he said, "Non posso lasciare il pacchetto senza pagamento." roughly well then you cannot have the gift.
I told him I would be here the following Monday in the afternoon with the money, he promised to return then with my gift.
I waited all afternoon Monday for his return.
Tuesday I was out of town, Wednesday when I got home from school there was a sticky note message from the post office saying to call about my package.  I took the note with me to school the next day and my teacher kindly called for me, as I do not have all the vocab necessary for this conversation.  Whomever she talked to told her to call a different number, we did and finally were informed that my package was already returning to the States.
That was yesterday.  Today the guy shows up again wanting 60 Euros which I would have had on me if they had not told me it was already heading back across the Atlantic.   Again he said, "Non posso lasciare il pacchetto senza pagamento." To which I replied after studying Italian all day long, "Mi hanno detto che stava tornando negli Stati Uniti quindi non hanno i soldi e non ho mai sono qui quando si arriva. Vorrei che il mio pacchetto, quindi sto per andare in banca, e si può portare il pacco in 20 min. Va bene?!" Basically, listen buddy enough is enough, I want the package, I will run to the ATM and get the money and you can come back in 20 min.

And 54 days and 20 min after Renee sent me the package I actually got it, opened it and loved it.

Just a little picture of trying to get things done in Italy. 

12:04 am

Okay well now it is 12:05 am and I just got home from leading (in Italian) our Friday night Bible Study.  It was my first time actually leading the lesson which to be sure is much more challenging in a second language.   It is one thing to be prepared, to know your material and to have your questions ready, but it is quite another thing to be prepared to lead a discussion, because there is really no telling how people will respond so you cannot possibly have all the words and concepts you will need ahead of time.  But God is good, and our group is filled with grace and understanding and patience. 

I used a short video clip called Vinyl about a guy who looses a record he loves and searches his whole apartment looking for it.  When he finds it he throws a party and invites all his friends.  It is a silent film except for the music.  After watching the film we dove into our discussion and then dug into scripture and read the story of the woman who lost 1 of her 10 coins.  We continued discussing the similarities and differences in these stories as well as what they show us about God and then what our new found knowledge requires of us now.

Overall I think things went pretty well. 

Normally this would be the end of a week of school and the beginning of my weekend, but this month we have school on Saturdays to make up for the days we missed during our Christmas break.  So now that it is 12:16am I am heading to bed so that I can get up bright and early and head to school.

Befana

Today is Epiphany in short the day we (Christians though it varies by region and denomination) remember the Magi who brought gifts to Jesus after his birth.  It turns out that traditionally speaking this is the day Italians used to give and receive gifts.  According to Italian tradition the Magi stopped at the home of an old witch Befana on their way to find the Christ Child hoping to get directions. They invited Befana a very ugly but very kind witch to join them on their quest to visit the Christ Child, but Befana was so intent on keeping her house clean that she turned them down.  They went on their way.  Later the shepherds came by and invited her to go with them to see the new baby, but still Befana chose to stay. Later Befana regretted her decision to stay home and clean house so she gathered toys that used to belong to her child who had died and she set out on her own to give gifts to the baby Jesus.  Befana searched and searched but never found Jesus.  So now every January the 5th Italian children hang stockings and Befana flies on her broom to each home bestowing gifts and candy to all the good children hoping to someday find Jesus.  She also sweeps up the houses she visits, as she has her broom handy and loves a clean house.  On January 6th Epiphany Italian children wake hoping to find goodies and not coal in their stockings.  Now since the arrival of Papa Natale (Santa) in Italy the Italians get the joy of gifts on Christmas December 25th and then again on Epiphany January 6th, which marks the end of their winter holiday season.

Some say that the tradition of Befana actually stemmed out of an old Roman pagan tradition of going to visit an old woman to have your signs read during the festival of Saturnalia  .  As the Catholic Church altered many previously pagan celebrations it is thought that Befana took the place of the old woman.